1. When you hear the word stepmother you…
a. Cry
b. Cringe
c. Smile

2. When your stepchildren talk back to you you…
a. Cower in the Corner
b. Tattle on them to your Husband
c. Talk back to them.

3. When your husband and kids forget you on Mother’s Day you…
a. Withold Sex from your husband for a week.
b. Burn their dinner.
c. Invite your family to join you at your favorite restaurant and inform them that it’s their treat.

4. When the Ex-Wife Shows up on your doorstep you…
a. Shut off the lights and pretend no one is home.
b. Scurry upstairs and hide under the bed.
c. Greet her at the door and you tell her she looks fabulous!

5. When your husband informs you that your romantic weekend is cancelled due to the unforeseen little league playoff game you…
a. Impersonate of a five year old girl who has had her favorite doll taken away.
b. Take a pass on the baseball game and make a television date with your best friends Ben and Jerry.
c. Take a rain check and spend the day doing something for you.

6. When your stepchild announces that she needs financial sponsors for her school trip to Disneyland you...
a. Inform your husband that she’s his child and his financial responsiblity.
b. Teach her the famous Rollingstones tune "You Can’t Always Get What you Want."
c. You do an inventory of her marketable skills and put her to work.

7. When your kids refuse to clean up their rooms you...
a. Clean them for them.
b. Stick your tongue out at them and utter expletives under your breath.
c. Sit down with the family and designate weekly chores.

8. When your stepchildren snottily inform you that "you’re not my mother!" you...
a. Shed a tear.
b. You torture the little darlings with the silent treatment.
c. You tell them, "No kidding, you’re not my child but I love you anyway."

9. When your husband-to-be tells you that his financial history is his business and not yours you...
a. Take his word for it.
b. When the coast is clear you snoop around in his file cabinet for any spec of financial knowledge.
c. Inform him that your two "businesses" have just merged and demand full disclosure or else…..

10. When your stepchildren occupy your husband’s every waking moment during visitations you...
a. Poke pins in your homemade husband voodoo doll.
b. Go to the mall.
c. Confront the issue and work out a plan so the two of you have some quality alone time when the kids are with you.

see result...